Yep, I don't really have the urge to post anything here anymore, so this is a kind of goodbye of sorts.

I'm not moving or anything, I just don't like LJ anymore. It was a phase which has passed, and now I kind of don't like this site. I have nothing to say and nothing to compel me to read anything that I see is posted.



So yeah, don't expect anything from me in the future.

Good luck to all, and I'm sure I'll see most of you at some point.

On March 24, 2007 I will be participating in the MS Walk.

My personal goal is to raise $350 for this great cause. If you would like to pledge anything send me an email to jtpautz@gmail.com and we can work out how we will handle it.

If you would like to participate in the walk itself just go to THIS SITE and go through the simple, quick steps. There is no registration fee.

Current Mood: happy

Yep, got a new job.

Going to be one of four Chefs (more like preppers) at The Melting Pot by Southpoint mall.

http://www.meltingpot.com/

We open for business this Tuesday. Its all reservation only, and you are looking to spend $100+ on a single meal, so I doubt you guys will come in to just have some lunch, hehe.

Did some training yesterday and will be doing some more during the next few days. So I'll be working a lot, going the The MP to do training for a few hours then onto Target to close up. That'll be fun.

Either way its a really nice place work, nice people to work with, simple enough job yet still fun, more pay right off the bat and that will just go up fairly quickly, 40 hrs guaranteed, and I get to work with a good friend. So yeah, this is a good oppurtunity.





Oh, and Cassie, if you read this I'm sorry for acting like a punk towards you lately. I just needed some time, I don't want to lose our friendship.

Current Mood: pleased

I'm getting another tattoo tomorrow.....




Maybe that pain will help in some way....





Edit 1-8-07:
Yep, it definitely helped.

Pictar


Some may recognize the symbol. And yeah, its not original, but I have my reasons for getting it, and its my body, so yeah, keep the negative comments about it to yourself. I'm pretty sure everyone that would read this wouldn't say anything bad anyway, but I just hate it when somebody makes a shitty comment about one of your tattoos. Fuck off, its my decision, and I made it. ;)

Well, I typed this up on the 23rd, and tried to post it, but LJ decided to be a dick, so here it is. I'm not going to change any of it since I'm lazy. So yeah.



Hmmm, haven't posted anything in a while.

Band is still moving along, although it didnt happen this week, for various reasons which I will get to in a bit. I really really realllllly want a Synthesizer, but then I realize that they are like $800 or more so, yeah. Unless someone gives me a ton of money or I win the lottery, no go on that for a long time.

Been working a good amount, which is not a bad thing. I'm making money, and now have some, so thats always good. I had forgotten how much Yule presents cost, though, so that kinda drained my coffers a bit, but I'm still good. Car is running well, love driving it, much better then the big dumb explorer.

I've been running through a bit of a cold the past few days, but I'm feeling a lot better allready, thanks to a few days off and plenty of rest. I do like, however, how I always tend to get sick around a major holiday where I have to travel. Thats a nice little tradition I have. And being sick forced us to cancel band practice for this week, which sucks because I love band practice.

We had our Yule celebration yesterday, of course since it was Yule yesterday (winter solstice). We had our ritual outside by the bonfire, which went well, lit a sunwheel that was soaked in gasoline (which rocked), we also erected a 16 ft Algiz rune in there backyard (which will be staying). After a ritual we always get pretty amped, so we moved onto the feast of Yule, which was awesome as well. A TON of food was made, I made three pies myself if that tells you anything about the amount of food (two apple pies, one tomato pie; thats right, tomato pie, its delicious). After the feast we did what is called the Snapdragon ritual. I won't go into the specifics of what it means, but it involves raisins, brandy, and fire. Basically you soak the raisins in brandy, put it on a warm plate, light the raisins on fire then eat them while they are burning. It doesn't hurt you, in fact I have a picture of my hand being on fire that I will be getting later and will definitely post. Lets just say I want to do that again, exhilarating to say the least. However, it is reserved for only the winter and summer solstice, so twice a year. After that, got a little messed up, and eventually passed out.

Tomorrow I'll be working till around 6, coming home and grabbing a few things, then driving to Charlotte to spend some time with my family during Christmas time. It'll be good to spend more then just a few hours with them, since that has been all I have been able to do lately. Tomorrow night I'll be hanging out with one of my good friends that lives down there, somebody I kinda bailed on living with after I decided to stay in Raleigh, and I haven't seen him in a year or so, so thats really awesome that I'll be able to do that. Christmas Eve is reserved for family time, and Christmas day is parents/brother time. Although, monday night I'll be driving back up here since I have to work Tuesday, plus I just don't want to spend thaaat much time with the family, hehe.

And yeah, the title means nothing, I'm just retarded.

I think thats about it.

Well, had my first band practice last night with the boys.

And it was AWESOME. At first I was a little tentitive to actually playing with them, afraid I would dissapoint. But once we got started I got pretty good, or at least I think so.

The band's name is Horse Made of Thorns. Its a tribal/ritualistic/synthesized/phsycedelic music. Think Hagalaz' Runedance, meets Mother Destruction, meets Dead Can Dance, meets Pink Floyd. Now most of those bands you guys probably haven't heard of, but that is the best way to describe it.

For right now I'm a drummer, although I'll probably end up singing some (wrote lyrics to one of the songs we jammed out last night). Hopefully I'll get to play with the Synth as well. I plan on getting one for myself anyways.

Either way, we played for a good hour and a half, if not more, kinda lost track of time. I have some nasty blisters on my hands from the sticks, lol, but I'll grow some calluses eventually, so no biggie.

I think we are going to make it an every Tuesday night thing to practice, which is cool with me, I look forward to doing it again.


I'll update you guys when we record some stuff and put it up on myspace or whatevers. You know how it goes.

Current Mood: excited

Picked up my new car today!

1998 Civic DX Hatchback
-B16a2 motor with ~59k miles
-Lots of other goodies that I'm not gonna list because nobody who reads my lj entries will really care that much. :P

( Some Crap-tastic Quick Pics! )

Plus I got to eat some good food today. So yeah, I would say that would make a good Thanksgiving. :D

Current Mood: giddy

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Current Mood: cheerful

No particular order for these thoughts, just what has kinda been on my mind lately.

-I LOVE COOKING. And I'm getting better at it, no doubt about it. Hanging around Anthony a lot, who is a professional cook/chef, and helping him cook gives you a lot of insight into it. Pan-fried some potatoes just a second ago to perfection.

-Thick As A Brick is quite awesome. Not sure why its so good, it just is.

-The unaware selfishness during the holiday season is horrible. I listened to a few customers yesterday talk about "I want TWO christmas trees. One downstairs and one in our bedroom!" You know, having spirit for the holiday is all well and good, but when you spend $250+ on just holiday decorations it makes me kinda mad. Why don't you stop spending so much money on that crap and start feeding the homeless, or just donate it to some kind of worthy fund. Think for somebody other then yourself for a change.

-I'm poor, but getting less poor. The funny thing is, my room and house have been cleanier in the past two or three weeks then they have been since I moved in. Its funny what you start looking at when you can't buy anything.

-I WANT MY CAR! Its sitting at my parent's house, although my Dad might be taking it for a spin, lol. I want it, badly. I can't wait to enjoy driving again.

-I'm actually giving some good gifts this season. Well thought out ones that still don't cost all that much. Looking forward to making a select few.

-I want some more jewelry. That may sound a little fruity, but whatever. My ears will probably be pierced pretty soon, and I want a ring or two soon, as well as a few more necklaces. Of course this all takes money, which is in short supply.

-I LOVE MY KITTY! Gremlin is becoming a better cat, and he is still pretty damn cute. He still has his random bursts of energy, but he doesn't claw as much and he goes to sleep and cuddles with me more often. I really think that making him indoor/outdoor was a good idea now. Thanks Laura, shouldn't have second guessed you, but live and learn I guess.

-Five Weeks. Yep, I know at least one person should know what I mean, the others it doesnt really matter.

Hmmm... I don't think there is anything else at the moment.

They circle above,
Am I dead?
The feelings remain,
Yet they've failed before,
Thoughts can be deceived,
Senses can be tricked,
Life consists of lies.

They don't come down,
Is there still pain?
The suffering is constant,
It continuously changes,
Pain will move,
Depression will hide,
Life consists of sorrow.

They break the circle,
Will I still live?
The hope returns,
It seems to seek me,
Bringing joy,
Bringing calm,
This life has truth.

This weight,
It never ceases,
Pushing down,
Pulling apart,
Ever growing.

This weight,
It cackles incessantly,
Showing weakness,
Breaking strength,
Ever knowing.

This weight,
It smells putrid,
Boiling up,
Breeding decay,
Ever stagnant.

This weight,
It has meaning,
Destroying ego,
Forcing action,
Ever crumbling.

This weight,
It is weak,
Fearing faith,
Learning nothing,
Ever cretinous.

It will move.

Lets see... From the beginning is where I shall start...

( Loong story to follow... )

And yeah, that took waaaaay to long to post.

Current Mood: Tired of it all

Clouds flowing,
Bringing shadows of thoughts.
Piecing together fates,
To see intertwining webs.

Water falling,
bringing faint whispers.
Times once lost,
Flooding the mind.

Faint mists lingering,
Bringing familiar chills.
Forgotten feelings apparent,
Parting the mind's fog.

Rising sun,
Bringing warmth once more.
Joys always fought for,
Brought to light again.

Clouds flowing,
Bringing shadows of movement.
Piecing together ideas,
To see intertwining paths.

Current Mood: hopeful

Got a call from my dad this morning, well it was 11:15 or so, but it was still in the morning. He went and looked at the car I've been fiending for today. And I WILL be getting it.

YEAH!

When I visit for Thanksgiving I'll be picking it up and driving it back home. Very excited, needless to say. If you actually hang out with me you know I hate driving the behemoth. Soooo much gas wasted and its not fun to drive at all. Plus its not really mine.

I'm not going to say what it is just yet. I'd rather wait till its in my possession and get some pictures of it. I will say, however, that it is EXACTLY what I've been looking for since I wrecked my '90 240sx, about SIX months ago. Didn't even realize it had been that long. Wow.



Lets see, what else.

Haven't heard anything back from Target about the drug test. "Orientation" is tomorrow, and I'm going to that regardless. I MIGHT have to retake it, since it could possibly come back inconclusive. So I have to lay off the good stuff for a bit longer.

I'm probably going to end up with two jobs as soon as I can work out a good schedule with Target. Looking to get a second job in the kitchen of the Player's Retreat. My boys Michael and Anthony work back there and they say its pretty good. Plus working with them is always a hoot. And I've always kind of missed the job atmosphere of my first job at Township Grille (not that any of you have heard of that, family owned restaurant down in Matthews by Charlotte).

We'll see how that goes.


I'm selling all the stockpiled car parts I have, since I have no use for them anymore. Nissan parts don't work on Hondas after all, hehe. Just put up the notices today and I'm getting a lot more interest then the last time I tried. Sold a shift knob for $22 allready. Now I can buy some more food for Gremlin, hehe.

Holidays are coming up, and I'm not NEARLY as prepared as I would like to be, economically that is. I'm pretty sure its going to be a great season. Have a lot of people to celebrate with, especially a select few. If I can get enough money togethor to get the presents I would like to, and still be able to take the small trips I want to I will be very pleased. Pretty sure I can do it too, its going to wear me the hell out for a bit, but its definitely doable.


Hmmmm...............

Well, I guess thats it.

Hope everyone's Veterans Day goes well.

Current Mood: bouncy

Yep, I now have a job again.... At Target. Blegh. Oh well, I need a job and this one I allready know.

Kinda sucks that they automatically put me back on sales floor, but I'll just keep my eyes open on the board to see if I can find a better position with some more pay.

Drug test will be taken tomorrow. Hopefully my detox will work, although I'm not all that worried.

We shall see, we shall see.



Oh yeah, went to see Witchcraft Sunday night. They are a swedish, dirty pagan metal band. AND THEY ROCKED THE HOUSE! Which is awesome, since they will more then likely make very few trips to the states to tour. They played incredibly well, and the band members were as nice as can be.

It also solidified my thoughts that smaller venues = better shows.

After the show I went up to the lead man and said "That was phenomenal, thanks." He had this dumbfounded look on his face, and I realized he didn't know what phenomenal meant. Haha, they are so swedish, its great. But at the time that was all I could think of saying, so I ended up saying "you did a good job" after realizing he didn't know what I was saying. Yeah, real inspiring, haha.

Michael got them to sign the inside of his Pentagram (another dirty pagan metal band, although they aren't around anymore) jacket, and it is supposedly the first autographs they've given out in the states, which rocks.

My ears were still ringing some this morning, although it has subsided by now. The first two bands, Leadfoot (local metal) and Danava (no idea) were allright, but I didn't care all that much for them. When Danava started playing it was a lot of ambient electronic/guitar stuff, and I thought I was really going to enjoy it. And then the vocals kicked in, and they didn't match up at all. Plus it was just too much at once, you couldn't seperate anything. Leadfoot was, blah?, nothing special, although they weren't exactly bad.


The drummer for Danava, however, was awesome. Not only did he rock the hell out of the drums, his hair and mustache is what I dream for myself. Rockin to the core.


With that in mind I'm growing out my hair.



Also, I think my life is finally getting back on track after months of being lost in the void. Hooray

Current Mood: hopeful

Show me your hands if you are a true, bonified, delectable loser!

Don't deny your true ambitions of nothingness. Embrace your loserness and face the harsh reality that is some form of funitude.

Yes. Do it.

Current Mood: thirsty

Yep. So I officialy have no job now. After being continualy screwed over by the company and boss I finally said a big "FUCK YOU" to him and left. I can't take only working two or three days a week anymore. And when I do work, not getting paid for all the time I work.

So now I get to go hunt for jobs. If worse comes to worse I guess I could always go back to Target. This time I'd be in the backroom, though. I know I have some other options, Rob said something about Iron Mountain, Laura talked about BJ's, Erin mentioned working with her at a restaraunt, and then there is where ever else I apply.

Thankfully my parents should be able to lend me funds to pay for my rent and bills till I start getting paychecks again.


I just hate being jobless.

Current Mood: disappointed

Before:



After:



Now if I can just find some moustache wax I'll be ready to tie some ladies to various rail road tracks across the globe!

Current Mood: hopeful